i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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