This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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