I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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