just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
