Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
