that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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