do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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