So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
