I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
