i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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