Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
