I molested 6 butterflies tonight
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
