I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
