WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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