i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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