So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
