what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
