put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
