Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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