It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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