i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
