My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
