Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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