I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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