9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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