thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
