all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
