You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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