So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
