I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
