I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
