dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
