I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize