He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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