I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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