umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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