white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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