I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
