Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
