how can u be prego again
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
