Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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