Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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