I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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