if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
