you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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