their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
