His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
