laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
