question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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