I just pynch a tree in the face
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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