what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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