i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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