i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
