yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
