The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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