Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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