I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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