Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The struggles of a small town man whore
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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