hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
