just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
